A bully usually exhibits some or all of the following character and personality traits:
1. The person is angry and has a lot of unresolved negative feelings
2. The person dislikes him/herself
3. The person feels hopeless
4. The person enjoys putting other people down as a way of making him/herself feel better
5. The person thrives on condescending remarks and behaviours
6. The person is envious of another person's honest achievements to the point of trying to undermine them
7. The person enjoys hurting others
What can you do if you recognize any of these behaviors and tendencies in yourself?
1. Talk to a trusted friend about your behavior. Be as open and honest as possible with the individual. By telling someone about your behavior, you can usually examine it much more objectively.
2. Practice self-love. Take the time to do nice things for yourself. Being kind to yourself in this way could really help with developing positive self-esteem.
3. Honour your feelings, whether they are positive or negative. Take note of negative feelings and attitudes and try and determine where they stem from.
4. If you can't come to terms with negative feelings about yourself, seek counseling. Sometimes you'll feel better if you don't feel alone during this process.
5. Journal about your negative feelings. Journaling is a great tool to help you to come to grips with your feelings and emotions and what is behind those feelings.
6. Become aware of when you bully others. Dissect the situation as honestly as you can. If you're envious about others, decide what it is that makes you so unsure of yourself when you're around that particular person. Then work on your feelings of ineptitude.
7. Try not to harbour negative feelings towards anyone. Such behaviour is usually very unhealthy for you and it can develop negative self-esteem, leading to a low image.
Regardless of whether or how much bullying behaviour you exhibit, you could help yourself become less of a bully. All you need to develop is patience and some self-love.